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How to Identify Lack of Self-Confidence

by A Hospidales
lady driving with her dog

Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.Confidence is everything.

Stewart Stafford
Infogaphic about self-confidence
Self-Confidence Infographic

The importance of self-confidence to psychological and physical health cannot be overstated. It’s easier to make healthy lifestyle choices, try new things, and develop a positive outlook when you believe in yourself.

Low self-confidence can be caused by a number of factors. Being bullied as a child may have contributed. Perhaps your parents were not supportive. An unhealthy relationship may have been to blame. Maybe you struggle with low self-esteem. It’s human nature to be fragile, leaving us vulnerable to life’s ups and downs.

Any way you slice it, a person with low self-confidence often feels unworthy, unattractive, or inadequate. Having this type of mentality can lead to a constant feeling of inferiority that prevents you from progressing and achieving your life goals.

Do you feel unconfident? Find out if you exhibit these five characteristics.

1. Explaining yourself.

Confidence comes from hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication.

Robert Staubach

Are you defending yourself by coming up with excuses or attempting to justify your actions? For example, you were invited to an event. It’s a busy night for you, but you feel obligated to explain why you couldn’t make it. Instead of just saying you won’t be able to attend, create a story about the reasons why you won’t be there.

People who are confident don’t need an explanation for their actions. You remain the same person regardless of whether you can attend a party. In the same way, if you screw up, you don’t have to come up with a million reasons why. People screw up. People who constantly explain themselves show lack of confidence.

2. Always responding to criticism.

The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.

Blake Lively

Criticism is never fun, even when it is constructive, but do you take it personally when it is directed at you? It could be the simplest thing, such as the fact that you didn’t do well at the football match you played last week. You hear your friend criticizing your performance, and your response is an explanation, delivered in a slightly aggressive manner. Such behavior shows that you lack confidence.

It may not be pleasant to hear, but people who are confident cope well with criticism. Their strength allows them to recognize constructive criticism from unconstructive criticism. If it is, they accept it, and if it isn’t, they disregard it and carry on.

3. Overcompensating.

Confidence… thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

You are told by a friend that you look down, and your first reaction is to deny it. Not only do you deny feeling sad, but you even take it as far as to claim that you never feel sad. Of course, that’s not true, but overdoing things to make up for something is a fairly common symptom of low self-esteem. Everyone compensates in their own way. There are people who respond with arrogance and those who respond as in the preceding example. Each of us has strengths and weaknesses, which is fine – it doesn’t mean you have to compensate.

4. Aiming for perfection.

Confidence is what makes that simple white tee and jeans look good.


Perfectionism is often viewed as a strength. It’s not. If anything, it indicates a lack of confidence. Some may view it as driving them toward success. You are being put under unfair pressure because perfection does not exist. As this is unattainable, you are creating a revolving door of failures. There is no such thing as perfection, so striving for it will only result in disappointment and a loss of confidence. Confident people aren’t perfectionists, but they’re always striving for success.

5. Lack of decision-making.

When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.

Joe Namath

A person lacking confidence will have trouble making decisions, no matter how simple or complex they are. They are paralyzed by doubts, which cloud their judgement so much that they cannot make decisions. Is there a risk that they will make a mistake, and then people will criticize them or they will be hated by their friends? Their belief is that they are unable to assess both sides objectively. As a result, they struggle to make a decision because they doubt their decision-making ability.

Final Thoughts

If your confidence is low, it’s time to take action.

As you strive to become a more confident person, be calm, patient and kind to yourself. You’ll notice significant improvements in your self-confidence by being persistent.

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Sara Rhodes
Sara Rhodes
1 month ago

I have struggled with confidence most my life. I only started feeling better about myself and more accepting of myself when I cut out toxic people and situations from my life. It is amazing how much one person can change your views about who you are and instill a lack of value in your heart. This is an amazing and honest article. I will be sure to share it around! 

1 month ago

Yeah, it all starts with confidence. When you have it, you shine and feel like you can take on the world. There’s nothing you can’t do. Confidence in your abilities pushes you forward and takes you where you probably didn’t think you could go. We should help our kids build more confidence in themselves so that our future world looks and feels great. 

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