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The Six Things You Must Avoid if You Want to Stay Confident

by A Hospidales
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confident male

“It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures.”

Oprah Winfrey

Staying confident isn’t easy: overconfidence can make you reckless, and a lack of confidence prevents you from making the most of your life.

You might think that confidence is innate. However, despite the fact that we form the majority of our confidence during our childhood, experiences over our lifetime have an impact as well.

Positive reinforcement from colleagues and superiors, encouragement from family, friends and colleagues, as well as success in our professional life all contribute to our confidence.

On the other hand, any of the factors discussed here can damage confidence. I am also going to talk about how to avoid, overcome, or deal with situations that undermine your self-confidence.


Poor self-perception

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

Peter T. Mcintyre

Nothing damages confidence more than a negative view of oneself. When you are not comfortable with who you are, you will not be able to have confidence in yourself or your abilities.

Not learning from your mistakes

“We need to realize that our path to transformation is through our mistakes. We’re meant to make mistakes, recognize them, and move on to become unlimited.”

Yehuda Berg

Confidence is damaged by failure, but there are times when that’s a good thing.
Nobody wants to fail or give up, but mistakes are inevitable, and they serve as a reminder to avoid self-indulgence.
As noted earlier, being overconfident can be harmful. Therefore, if something doesn’t turn out as you had hoped, it is important not to feel ashamed – rather, humble yourself. Appreciate the lessons learned and strive to be the best you can be.

Negative People

Confidence is silent and insecurity is loud.

John F. Kennedy

The people that you surround yourself with can have a huge impact on your confidence. You can improve your confidence if the people around you encourage you and make you aware of your own worth. This will boost your self-esteem. You can lose confidence if people make fun of you, bully and belittle you. Sometimes, the only solution is to get them out of your life. On the other hand, understanding their motivations may assist you in helping them.

In some cases, people belittle others out of insecurity, and they do so to make themselves feel better about themselves. Although it may be tough, giving them praise when they perform well and reassuring them of your appreciation usually improves their self-esteem. As a result, they no longer feel compelled to humiliate others in order to improve their own status.

“To be of good quality, you have to excuse yourself from the presence of shallow and callow minded individuals.”

Michael Bassey Johnson

Making others feel inadequate or inferior is also often a characteristic of oppressive relationships. It is common for abusers to undermine their victim’s self-confidence so that the victim feels reliant on them. Should you want to remain in the relationship for whatever reason, making them aware of your desire to remain together sometimes helps.
A friendly approach isn’t always successful, however, and it isn’t always necessary. If they are consistently undermining you, the first thing you need to consider is you and your wellbeing. You must leave the person if leaving them is the only option to preserve your mental and emotional health.

Experiences From the Past

“Learn from past experiences but accept them all as perfect while staying in the present. Let go of everything that doesn’t serve you.”

Mike Basevic

Occasionally, past experiences can damage your self-esteem, and ruminating about them may be causing further damage. It doesn’t matter if they were traumatizing events or abusive, even when that person is gone, the memories still linger.
If the memories persist, letting go and regaining control might require professional assistance. Others may be able to do so with patience and help from family and friends.

The process of developing a sense of confidence will also enable you to discover what you can do in order to cultivate a sense of self-belief based on your strengths.

There are times when events that make us doubt our abilities turn out to be mixed blessings that teach us humility and enlighten us. They can result from situations that can be made better or caused by people who are hurting and in need of support.

Regardless of what’s going on, learning what’s going on allows us to adapt, evolve, and make progress as long as we recognize the bigger picture.


“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I’m not perfect -and I don’t live to be- but before you start pointing fingers… make sure you hands are clean!”

Bob Marley

The perfectionist believes he or she must always be perfect. The truth is that we are never perfect, so thinking this way only undermines your confidence, and keeps you from realizing your true potential.

Cultural Standards and Beliefs

“The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves.”

Ray Kroc

The way you view your body is a great illustration of the effect society has on your self-esteem. It is considered desirable to be thin and skinny, while being heavy is unpopular. There are many overweight people who feel comfortable in their own skin, mainly because they never allow society’s opinions to influence their self-esteem.

Wrapping Up

All of us will experience some kind of self-doubt at one point or another; it’s a part of life. In most cases, feelings of self-doubt usually arise when we aren’t sure who we are or why we exist.
Through finding your purpose, focusing on your own goals, and practicing gratitude, you can cultivate self-love more deeply, reducing feelings of self-doubt.

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